Free Friday

Just something I've been pondering.

Is there something about neo-pagan paths that causes a higher frequency of disintegration of groups and splitting of paths?  Is it because we are encouraged to seek our own truths and to stand firm in our own beliefs that results in the high frequency of groups that eventually no longer exist?  In the last 5 years I've seen an amazing number of groups that I've either belonged to, or known people who belong to, fall apart unable to sustain a system that satisfied everyone.  Is this the curse of neo-paganism, that by being a path that doesn't dictate it inevitably sees all the fledglings fly the nest?  Is this necessarily a bad thing?  There are certainly experiences that one can only achieve through working with other people, yet I find that our path really does tend to lead to a more solitary undertaking.  For me personally my ideal would be to practice solitary and meet with a group just for a celebration of the Sabbats.  If we wanted to go down the road of claiming to draw  roots from ancient traditions (that's a whole other rant I'll do one day) then this really is a more accurate reflection of how acts would have been run.

Free Friday

Feeling kind of disconnected from the world right now.  I'm missing friends I haven't seen in a long time and I know it is because things happen, and life gets busy and we grow and move on but I miss them.  I realize I can't really talk, I pretty much holed up in my little academic world while I worked on my thesis and didn't really take the time to connect to these people and was basically a pretty crappy friend.  And I'm generally just shocking at keeping in touch with people, if it wasn't for FB I wouldn't have any contact with some of my friends around the world, I'm just not an emailer or someone who likes to talk on the phone.  I rejoined a group recently too for my spiritual nourishment and the place is pretty dead compared to what it used to be like.  Maybe I'm just feeling it more because I'm going a little stir crazy having no more school, work is pretty slow and my spiritual studies aren't overly challenging just yet (I'm hoping it gets better).  Maybe the universe is telling me it is time to move on - but realistically and financially I'm stuck here for another year.  Wishing I had another weekend coming up where I could immerse myself in my spiritual connection like Pantheacon, but there is nothing.  And I realize I could take myself away for a weekend, I just like having an excuse to do it, it is after all hard to justify just running away for the weekend somewhere pretty (not to mention expensive).

Free Friday

I recently found a bunch of Haiku poems that I had done many years ago so I thought I'd post some of them here.

Rains gently nourish
flowers spring towards the light
hope is born anew

Fire burns so brightly
through the window of my soul
hope awakes from sleep

Thunder breaks silence
Rains pound upon the tin roof
Cold sinks its claws deep

Emotions grow so slowly
Like the flower beginning to bloom
healing my wounded heart

Once more justice fails
melting souls of innocence
shattering like glass

Open your soul child
Remember the lesson taught
And let your joy sound

Through the path of mists
a lantern your only light
learn the ways of old

Many paths are shown
Some with lights and some with thorns
Which one will you choose

Death is not the end
For each new seed is sown
Guarded by a star

Lavender is burnt
as the stones are softly cast
Past, Present, Future

Faeries drink the wine
dancing among the rosehip
in the evening breeze

Rain falls gently down
under the sacred rowan
a river is born

Weep for the beauty
of mother earths gentle touch
and the joy of spring

Roses bloom like fire
The willow sways in the breeze
witness the sacred

© All original content copyright Julie Grucza, 2012-2013

In a funk

I haven't been keeping up with this much.  Life is getting the better of me.  The weekend away has left me feeling quite sad with where my life is right now. So I've spent the week feeling very lonely and sad and frustrated at things I cannot change.  I'm failing to live me life at the moment, and it leaves me rather depressed and I'm just hoping that this too shall pass when school is finally done.  I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss my husband and I miss being me.  The weekend spent away really made all that hit home.  For 4 glorious days I got to spend time with my husband, with a good friend and relax and be completely me knowing I'd be fully accepted by those I was with.  *sigh*

So with that depressing note here are some pictures of beautiful New Zealand - the only thing keeping me going right now is knowing I will be here again soon.

Procrastination - just some Friday fun.

Oh great lords of procrastination,
who love to dwell inside my mind
filling it with random thoughts
that eat away at my time.

Oh great lords of procrastination,
whose presence has grown great
when time is precious and tensions are high
that is when you see fit to take.

Oh great lords of procrastination,
it really is time for you to go
while I don't mind a good mindless wonder now and again
it is making this study process go to slow.

Oh great lords of .... ooooh shiny!

Free Friday

Thoughts

How long do you think they'll wait?
Sending signs, pounding on the door, desperately trying to get my attention.
Hopes rise in moments of clarity, when it looks like I've got it,
and then I step back, the edge is too close, there is too much else to do.
Afraid to step forward, dive with arms spread wide and have faith in what is bellow.
Scared to step back too far and break the connection tentatively held.
To want, to need to ache to step forth and yet fight it, fear it.
Fear, not of failing but of succeeding.
Fear of letting go, of not having control.
Fear of being greater in self and having others notice that.
Fear is the journey though, I shall sit stagnant until it is conquered,
but will they sit their on the other side waiting for me?

Copyright Julie Grucza 2012-2013

Free Friday

Just thinking...

If you ever wondered whether magic and its practice is something that is real, that has a history, then I strongly suggest really taking some time to dig deep and research magic throughout history - you'll quickly find a world of answers and questions that will confirm within you the understanding that 'magical practices' must be true because they have been a part of society and culture for as long as we have recorded history.

One of the things I'm loving about doing my thesis is all the connections I'm seeing between magic in the ancient world and magic now.  That is to say, I can see where those who re-introduced/created the ideas of witchcraft that we hold in modern westernized society today got their ideas from.  Now that isn't to say that there is no truth to some of the information, I'm just critical/analytical enough to recognize that Wicca is a modern creation and as such while it draws on the ancient past, it isn't the magic of the ancient past.

What I do see is key ideas, elements and theories that have come through to us today.  It is funny to read up on some amazing new age idea that everyone is touting about and know that really the theory has been around for almost 2 thousand years more or less.  The other key thing you begin to notice is that the idea of 'magic' permeates all societies, that it is a key element in our understanding of the universe and given that most societies have similar ideas even when there was little to no contact indicates that there has to be some greater connection out there than people are willing to acknowledge.

Free Friday

What is magic?  and how is it different from religion?

I'm thinking about this a lot lately as I research for my thesis and try to unravel the intermingled and entangled idea of those things we call magic and religion in the ancient world and whether we really can separate and define them in such a way.  I guess in some sense this can be applied to today's society as well.  As much as we've been living with this division of magic and religion (Thank's Frazer) is there really this great divide?  The answer to that probably depends on how you define religion.  For myself I always think of big organized religions when I say the word and yet lately I've been becoming more aware that this definition really isn't accurate, that isn't what religion is.  Who decides what it is?  Society?  Because that really seems to be how this all works, that society comes to some agreement that religion is A and magic is B and superstition is some vague in between   This really doesn't help anything at all.  Sure people have worked hard to create definitions of religion but I've yet to really find one that works for me, I've yet to really succinctly define it or magic myself.  So I'm curious and I ask you to think, What is the difference?

Free Friday

I apologize if there is any funky formatting on this, first ever post from the tablet.

Reflections on Winter

Bare branches reach towards the darkened sky

Like gnarled fingers worn by years gone by.

Breath takes form the eyes can see

Like a part of our spirit is set to wander free.

And cloudless skies frame stars so bright

As the moon rises into sight.

A veil of magic settles on the soul

When such beauty does unfold.

And even though the chill creeps in

We stop and breathe the beauty of winter within.

Copyright Julie Grucza 2013.

Free Friday

Determining One's Paganicity (yes I made that up)

I've seen a lot of discussion lately regarding what/who a pagan is, and it has made me think.  Mostly 2 key things pop into my mind.

1. Does it matter?
2. If it does matter where would you possibly begin?

As to the first, people will probably get upset at me for thinking that but I have to say I really do hate labels.  Yes I know as a society we love to label things, it makes the world more succinct, but guess what - the world is messy, embrace it.  Why is it we have to come to some form of consensus as to how to label ourselves?  Are we trying to make ourselves more comfortable or others?  This I guess leads into part 2.  If you are determined to label and define how the heck do you plan to do that?  To me it seems about as easy as herding cats.  If we run with the general idea here that most people who call themselves (or that others call) pagan couldn't sit down and agree on a set of standards that all of them follow, nor do the majority want a governing body that would create this list for them, then how does one come up with a definition that covers everyone?  You sure as hell won't find a definition that doesn't make someone unhappy.  This once again cycles me back to point 1, why does it matter? If someone can give me a good answer to this I'm willing to listen, as of yet I haven't encountered one.

Free Friday (1/18/13)

Okay, I'll be the first to admit I don't have a clue what to write about today - Free Friday and the lack of prompts is actually making it difficult for my somewhat still cold addled brain to form any kind of ideas that may be on interest to myself let alone anyone else.  In fact I've spent most of the last two days feeling somewhat like I'm functioning on a slightly different time dimension from the rest of the world.  But I do not want to fall out of the habit of sticking to my blog routine and so I feel I need to write something.  So I thought I'd drag myself on here and let you all know about the activity I'll be working on tomorrow that I will then post images of once it is done.

With the beginning of the new year it is time to create a new Dream tree - I believe I posted mine from last year on this blog somewhere :)  This tree will be my dreams for the year, what I hope to achieve and want to work on.  It functions somewhat like a vision board really.  I read the wonderful Roman's post on vision boards last night so I'm going to take a leaf out of that experience and try and focus on feelings and imagery and see how that goes.  I'll post pics over the weekend.

UPDATE!!

Well here it is, the finished Dream Tree for 2013.  Had such a wonderful time making this with some lovely friends.  Here's hoping it flourishes throughout the year.

Free Friday (1/11/13)

The Returning sun.

(Source: http://closequartersfeed.com/articles/plant_sun_light)

While I'm the first to admit that I prefer the cooler months to the warmer ones I have to say that I am so happy to have the sunlight gradually returning to my little world.  I am a sunshine baby, just not a heat one :)  Spring and Autumn are my favorite times of year, those in-between times.  I'm a bit like my cat at this time of year though, I find myself drawn to areas in my house where I can bask in the sunlight without the frigid coldness that is outside. This year I feel more drawn to the sun's energies than I have previously at this time and I think that is telling about the balance I wish to achieve in my life.  So for today I give a salute to the sun, welcome back!

Free Friday (1-4-13)

Today's Free Friday comes in the form of a Book Review.  I have just finished reading T. Thorn Coyle's "Kissing the Limitless" and I loved it.

I'll be the first to admit that while I don't have the collection that some Pagans do I think I have read my fair share of various books related to this spiritual path and I have to say that I am in love with T. Thorn Coyle's words (Yes, I have Evolutionary Witchcraft as my next book to read).

"We need to make magic from where we are, not where we should be. We can set ourselves up for failure because we are not honest about who we are right in this moment. Magic is simple. But to get simple takes a lot of practice, and a lot of presence."

On reading these words I was hooked on this book.  I think what I love most is that this book is more than the usual "here's how I do things and why" to this book, there is depth.  Coyle's education and experiences both shine through giving the reader a text that is both thoughtful, inclusive and based in actual experiences.  Yes, there is Feri influence but there is also Jungian psychology, ceremonial magic, thelema and many other paths explored throughout this work all of which combined creates a text that makes sense.  The fact that Coyle makes an effort to draw connections to various religious paths with what she is discussing is to her credit, too often authors focus only on a pagan or Wiccan perspective and it can take away from the significance.  The fact that it is pointed out that many paths follow a similar idea or practice adds credibility to the truth of it in my eyes at least.

The focus of this book is, as the title states, about getting your spiritual self organized, on track and moving towards a deeper connection.  Divided into 3 parts the book offers a variety of reflective activities as well as working activities that will help you move past barriers that you may have erected or hurdles that you're just struggling with. There is no rush to get through this book, it isn't a "here's your year and a day" program, it is something for you to work through and on at whatever level for as long as you need and Coyle emphasizes not rushing into the next step until you're ready.

This book is not meant for the dabbler, it is meant to assist you with creating a lifelong spiritual practice that will encourage your growth but that requires dedication and hard work.