Friday, April 12, 2013

Free Friday


How long do you think they'll wait?
Sending signs, pounding on the door, desperately trying to get my attention.
Hopes rise in moments of clarity, when it looks like I've got it,
and then I step back, the edge is too close, there is too much else to do.
Afraid to step forward, dive with arms spread wide and have faith in what is bellow.
Scared to step back too far and break the connection tentatively held.
To want, to need to ache to step forth and yet fight it, fear it.
Fear, not of failing but of succeeding.
Fear of letting go, of not having control.
Fear of being greater in self and having others notice that.
Fear is the journey though, I shall sit stagnant until it is conquered,
but will they sit their on the other side waiting for me?

Copyright Julie Grucza 2012-2013

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for...

  1. Little spurts of creativity that come in time to keep me from despairing that I've lost that creative aspect.
  2. Time spent with my husband.
  3. The ability to afford to spend the weekend in Stanford using their library for my thesis.
  4. My family and their unconditional support of what I do (at least the side I still have contact with)
  5. My own inner strength, determination and stubbornness. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013



Windy days have blown away the cobwebs of the past
Now the sun is here again new growth blooms at last
Yet too much sun and life is drained under those beating rays
Too much shade and disease begins, life begins to fade
Balance is what is needed, in life, in us, in all
To walk in the sun, dance in the rain and embrace our shadowy place
To tap into our spirit, to open our wings and embrace the rise and the fall.

Copyright Julie Grucza, 2012-2013.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Musing Monday

I saw this quote this morning and it made me think of a conversation I had last week and that I've had a few times.  We often look at people whom we admire, whom we think are doing and being things that we wish that we could be and we long to be like them yet we forget that everyone has fears, everyone has a past and nobody is as put together as we think they are.  We are all really good at masks.  Masks that we feel we need to wear for our own safety, for the sake of society, because we're just so damn used to wearing them.  But if we are lucky enough we can find a few select people with whom we can drop these masks, people who will listen to your heartbreaking story and hold space for you to be you.  And in having experienced this we can come to see that every person has a story that they hide, that we are all imperfect and that it is okay.