Thursday, May 16, 2013

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for...

  1. A cooling of the weather - I love the sun, I don't love 90+ degree heat in May
  2. Sleep and Coffee - I don't get enough of the first and probably have too much of the second.
  3. Bright Flowers - just having them on my desk and in my home makes me feel better
  4. Animals - my cat that forces study breaks on me for pets and playtime and the puppy love when the guys at work bring in their dogs
  5. My husband - for neck rubs during study sessions, for listening to me ramble on about my thesis and for helping me clear my head when I'm overwhelmed by it all.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Why you shouldn't compare

It really is a danger to compare your life to those of theirs - if for no other reason that you cannot know what their life is really like.  And yet how do you stop yourself?  I've seen friends and acquaintances do and achieve so much in the past 12 months and I am overjoyed for them.  Yet a part of me also mourns due to my own lack of progress.  It makes you wonder what you're doing wrong, why you can't seem to get your crap together to do what you want.  It is frustrating, disappointing, and makes me doubt myself.  

So it is a case of knowing what it is, what it shouldn't be and that I need to stop and yet struggling to put it into action.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Musing Monday


Wandering aimlessly, unsure of where to go
clear paths, shady glens and tracks that are overgrown.
places you know you've been that call to you again
offering the safety and security of an old friend.
But I don't want to go there, to see what has already been
yet the call is so strong, like a mothers song that lulls you to sleep.
So I wander around lost, disconnected, alone.
A yearning, a feeling, a twisting knot sits low in my belly, pulling, tugging, demanding attention.
but I'm stuck, rooted in place, unsure where to go, which path to take.
There's a path, somewhere in the mist that sings my name ever so softly
so quietly you have to listen hard to hear,
so quietly it is often drowned out by my fear.
I know it is there, like a magnet I can feel its pull.
Yet I cannot find it - or maybe I'm afraid to.
And the shackles of the now, of the expected, of the responsible feel heavier each day.
And I feel myself shrinking, fading away.
I want to sing, to dance, to soar
instead I bow down under the pressure of those chains and tie myself with them once more.

Copyright Julie Grucza, 2012-2013