MusingsWandering aimlessly, unsure of where to go
clear paths, shady glens and tracks that are overgrown.
places you know you've been that call to you again
offering the safety and security of an old friend.
But I don't want to go there, to see what has already been
yet the call is so strong, like a mothers song that lulls you to sleep.
So I wander around lost, disconnected, alone.
A yearning, a feeling, a twisting knot sits low in my belly, pulling, tugging, demanding attention.
but I'm stuck, rooted in place, unsure where to go, which path to take.
There's a path, somewhere in the mist that sings my name ever so softly
so quietly you have to listen hard to hear,
so quietly it is often drowned out by my fear.
I know it is there, like a magnet I can feel its pull.
Yet I cannot find it - or maybe I'm afraid to.
And the shackles of the now, of the expected, of the responsible feel heavier each day.
And I feel myself shrinking, fading away.
I want to sing, to dance, to soar
instead I bow down under the pressure of those chains and tie myself with them once more.
Copyright Julie Grucza, 2012-2013