Meditative Monday

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  I'm trying to get back into the mind set of challenging myself and facing my fears.  A good few years back I tackled my fear of heights, small spaces and open water on a trip to New Zealand where I partook of sea kayaking, abseiling and caving.  I think it is time I started facing these fears more in my life.  Embrace life, live it as it was meant to be.

Meditative Monday

Maybe what I should be meditating on today is why I have this inability to keep up with my blog :)  Once again it appears I have taken on too much in my life and that sleep is most definitely taking the brunt of the damage.  Of course this begets a cycle of lack of sleep --> tiredness so can't concentrate --> causing lack of school work --> resulting in crammed deadlines and the complete ignoring of anything non-school related --> resulting in a very unbalanced life and lots of stress  --> which of course leads right back to lack of sleep.

I know people who have kids, go to school, work full time, and somehow still manage to find time to play sports, get crafty, go to church/practice a spiritual path etc.  How the heck do they get it all done?

Struggling to find the key to managing it all.  Maybe the key is that you can't manage it all and I have to realize that things need to be dropped...but that's a whole other set of issues.

Meditation Monday

Thought to ponder today.  How do you balance having what will make your soul happy and doing what will pay the bills?  For me more specifically, the balance between knowing you have responsibilities to pay the bills etc and therefore must work a job that sucks the soul out of you and doing what you love.

I hear a lot about how you should follow what makes you happy no matter what - but how does one honestly do that, especially in today's economy.  At what point does the practical and the desired balance out?  I hold it as highly important that I pay all my bills and have the ability to do things I enjoy in life, in order to do that in this economy I have to work a job that pays the bills over one that I am passionate about.  Is this selling out?  Or is it be sensible?  Are they opposing ideas?  I have previously in my life managed to have both - to be working the job I love and have the financial security, but my current location doesn't allow for that.  So I give up what I love for what pays the bills.

I guess the point is it actually makes me a little mad when I get people telling me that "If I just focus hard enough and put it to the universe I will be able to have both."  Sorry I call BS on that.  If we all got what we wanted just by putting enough thought into it there would be a whole different world out there.  And besides, the people who usually tell me this are living lives I would not want to emulate.  I don't want to be dependent on someone else to pay my bills, I don't want to have debt, I don't want to lose my house.  I do feel a sense of social responsibility to actually go out and make a living and pay my way in the world.

I'm not doing what I love right now - but I'm working towards it.  I'm getting my Masters and we are moving countries in 15months.  Its a long term goal, its a practical goal.  My life isn't overly balanced right now because of it, and there are times I rant and rave and gnash my teeth over that, but it is the way the world works.

Meditative Monday

Yes, I know - a very long hiatus...life was kicking my butt.  But I'm trying to get back on track now.

Once again - words of wisdom from www.marcandangel.com

Leave enough time for fun. – Sometimes you need to take a few steps back to see things clearly.  Never let your life become so filled with work, your mind become so crammed with worry, or your heart become so jammed with old hurts or anger, that there’s no room left in them for fun, for awe, or for joy.


I've been feeling this one a lot lately - how little time I really leave myself for fun, hell for anything other than work and school.  I'm not living life right now and it frustrates and saddens me, but its also a really hard trap to work yourself out of.  SO that is my goal for the next two weeks.  I have a break from classes for two weeks so my goal is to try and establish some form of routine that incorporates things for me that will also allow study time.  We'll see how it goes.

Meditative Monday

I'm putting a link here today, I feel that all 12 points are important and should definitely be contemplated.  I do so love these guys work.

12 Habits Standing Between You and What You Want

I am guilty of all of these - sometimes more than one and once.  Perhaps one of my worst acts is (7) Dwelling on things you've lost - or the past in general.  It is hard not to.  I've had to make up a little mantra that I say over and over until my thoughts stop dwelling.  (10) Is another big one, I am so overly critical of myself.  I hold myself up to impossible standards sometimes and I am never satisfied with the outcome that I get, I always feel that I can do better, if only I'd tried more.

Meditative Monday

"Harsh words can hurt a person more than physical pain. – Taste your own words before you spit them out.  Words hurt and scar more than you think, so THINK before you speak.  And remember, what you say about others also says a whole lot about YOU."
(Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/06/13/15-relationship-truths-for-tough-times/ )


True words that come at a time when both sides of the message are needed.

We try to brush off the words that others throw at us, to say "oh well", but it is easier said than done.  Words have a way of creeping in under your defenses and eating away at your idea of yourself.  Enough words, and you begin to ponder if the issue isn't the person saying them but yourself.  It is oh so easy to lash back, to get angry and point fingers, to lay blame at the feet of all and none at ones own.  What we hurl at others or what we say of others behind their backs is a reflection of our own issues, and that goes for the way we respond too.  One should not allow someone to walk all over them, but sometimes it is best to simply state your peace and walk away from it all.  There is no point in engaging in verbal warfare.  Take claim of the things you may have said or done to cause pain to others, see that they too have their own to claim and leave it at that.

Someone's opinion of you should not matter.  It does, I know.  We are raised to believe that what others see in us is the standard by which we should judge ourselves.  But I think we have to work on making our own opinion of ourselves the more important one.  Not in an arrogant way, but in a way where we can be comfortable knowing that some people will not like us.  That our priorities are important to us and shouldn't be pushed to the side in favor of another's.  That we are important and worthy of our own time.

Meditative Monday

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

I can't say how important keeping this in mind has been of late.  I have always been a loner child - circumstances, behavior whatever the cause I have never had a great many friends.  I don't trust easily and therefore I don't build friendships easily.  I am not a social butterfly, it really isn't in my nature.  In the past couple of years I've tried to branch out on the friend thing.  I had gone through a serious case of depression and I felt that I needed to stop hiding in my cave and start forcing myself to make friends.  Some good came from this.  I did indeed meet a handful of amazing people who I truly hold as friends, people who I know I could tell my darkest secrets to and not be judged.  Sadly, I have also met with a lot of pain, and a lot of stress.  Trying to keep up friendships that aren't genuine is tiresome and really not worth the effort.  At some point you realize that you're putting far more into it all than they are and that, if not dealt with quickly, can lead to messy situations.  I am learning that my time is valuable, that I am valuable and that if people can't meet me half way on the whole friendship thing, then they aren't worth it.

Meditative Monday

Here is my question to ponder today - How does one fit it all in, and where does the time all go?

I ask myself this question on a daily basis almost it seems.  Where does time go?  It is June already and I don't recall much of this year - seems I've spent a great deal of it in a haze of work, schoolwork and other commitments.  So that begs the question, how do we fit it all in?  Or better yet, how do we learn to accept that we don't have to fit it all in?  I have too much on my plate - I've cut a lot out of my life in the past month because I was overwhelmed, yet I still have too much going on.  Yet how does one begin to cull things that seem to be necessary?  How do you define what is necessary?  When does stopping something become what is good for you and not just you giving up because it is too hard?  There are so many factors to consider in this.

Meditative Monday

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/02/23/40-photo-illustrated-questions/

 

Taken from Marc and Angel Hack Life - a wonderful web page of inspiration and thought provoking goodness.  The whole series of 40 questions really got me thinking.

This one in particular resonates with me at the moment as I battle with the balance of work, life, school, spirituality etc.  It seems that despite my best laid plans things get out of control.  So what word best describes the way I spent my month...unmotivated.

I need to find my motivation, find my drive and a big part of doing that is finding time for me.

Meditative Monday

Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience. Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them. – Byron Katie


This is something I am attempting to work on in myself.  Our judgments of others is a good reflection of ourselves and I think it is important that we stop and consider why we feel this way about this person and their actions so that we can better understand our own minds and our own values as well as what it is about ourselves that we are obviously not happy with or not coming to terms with.  

Meditative Monday

Personal Photo - Taken near Wanaka, NZ

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust

I think this is a really important message.  Have you ever tried looking at the world though the eyes of a child, an ant, the fey etc.  Taking the time to consciously attempt to alter ones perspective is an act that I believe opens up a whole new world to the viewer.  We often long for the innocence and joy that comes from seeing the world through a child's eyes - why not make the choice to do just that next time you go to the park. 

Even just taking a moment to stop and really 'see' the world is an important daily act.  We spend so much time racing through to the next thing in life we forget to really see the world.  How often do you pause and admire the trees, actually look at the night sky, watch the sun rise, look at how the wind plays with the leaves?  Try to do it, try to find a moment each day to open new eyes to the world.