Daily Draw

"There is such a challenging choice to be made at the moment...So Choose. Act. Get clear, stay open and calm, and the decision will come.  But the choice, this card insists, must be made - no more compromise on this."

This card is all about the tough choices - needing to choose a path instead of trying to do it all - don't I know about this in my life.  I'm also an amazing procrastinator and I think this plays a part here too.  I need to recognize that those things left behind will do just fine without me.

Interestingly enough a second card dropped out of my deck while shuffling that I didn't even notice until I moved my keyboard and found it sitting there.

"A deliberate effort to move away from naval-gazing and procrastination by self-analysis will transform into a determination to become through doing, and thinking, and being, and sharing and insisting on the new realities truths for you."

A double kick in the pants maybe?  Or a clarifier as to which area of my life the first draw is referring to.  There is definitely a need for me to take a dive here - I know the plunge will be worth the reward, but still I procrastinate and am perhaps in a little fear also.

Daily Draw

"You must take a great journey upstream to find the place where you will prosper and flower and grow into Dragonhood - you will be most prosperous, most successful, and most importantly, a great mentor when that climb has been undertaken.  Begin it now."

Time to move on, I've had a few doubts lately about decisions I've made but I think the main focus here is that as hard as the journey can be I have to keep moving on.  I have to step out of the shallow waters that I've been swimming in and head on my own journey.

Meditation Monday

Thought to ponder today.  How do you balance having what will make your soul happy and doing what will pay the bills?  For me more specifically, the balance between knowing you have responsibilities to pay the bills etc and therefore must work a job that sucks the soul out of you and doing what you love.

I hear a lot about how you should follow what makes you happy no matter what - but how does one honestly do that, especially in today's economy.  At what point does the practical and the desired balance out?  I hold it as highly important that I pay all my bills and have the ability to do things I enjoy in life, in order to do that in this economy I have to work a job that pays the bills over one that I am passionate about.  Is this selling out?  Or is it be sensible?  Are they opposing ideas?  I have previously in my life managed to have both - to be working the job I love and have the financial security, but my current location doesn't allow for that.  So I give up what I love for what pays the bills.

I guess the point is it actually makes me a little mad when I get people telling me that "If I just focus hard enough and put it to the universe I will be able to have both."  Sorry I call BS on that.  If we all got what we wanted just by putting enough thought into it there would be a whole different world out there.  And besides, the people who usually tell me this are living lives I would not want to emulate.  I don't want to be dependent on someone else to pay my bills, I don't want to have debt, I don't want to lose my house.  I do feel a sense of social responsibility to actually go out and make a living and pay my way in the world.

I'm not doing what I love right now - but I'm working towards it.  I'm getting my Masters and we are moving countries in 15months.  Its a long term goal, its a practical goal.  My life isn't overly balanced right now because of it, and there are times I rant and rave and gnash my teeth over that, but it is the way the world works.

Daily Draw

It is time to rediscover something once discarded.

This one always challenges me - because I deliberately don't reflect on what parts of my childhood I actually do remember.  I think the drive here is twofold.  First, that there are happy memories in the past and its worth recalling them.  Second, that embracing the inner child is also important.

M is for Meditation, Movement and Music

Today's M post encompasses three things.  While I am aware that I could have divided them each up into their own posting for me each of them is linked to the other in ways that make sense to put them all together in this one post.

(Source: http:.//www.transformingourselves.com/Meditation.html)

Meditation: There are probably more forms of meditation out there than I can even hope to be able to rattle off here and so I am not going to try and summarize them all - if you're really curious Google it, I promise you you'll find lists at least a page long.  What I want to talk about is some of the less traditional ideas that tend to pop into peoples heads when they are presented with the term meditation.

When someone says the word meditation the majority of people are probably envisioning a period of time spent sitting or laying down in a quiet area while some generic (and often quite shockingly bad) music involving the sounds of nature plays in the background. (On a side note, why is there so much water involved in these tracks?  I mean I get that water is soothing, believe me I'm a water baby, but really doesn't it mostly just mean that inevitably your meditation is probably cut short by an overwhelming desire to pee). While I do meditate in this manor from time to time I find that it isn't necessarily the best method for my intended outcome.

I have a set pattern of imagery that I follow to make it to a desired location in my mind from which point things take their own separate paths...for me this is more a matter of training my mind that this sequence of images will trigger a relaxation into a deeper state of consciousness.  There is a journey I take down a spiral staircase, through a certain hall to a particular door and from their out into a field - once I reach that field my mind goes where it wants/needs to.  This is generally how I meditate.

When I'm working the type of meditation about I actually dislike having any music playing, I find it is more distracting than helpful, that is just me.  But that is not to say that music isn't an important part of the meditative process for me.  I have many forms of meditation I partake in that are based solely on music.

(Source: http://davidreiley.com/interests.html)

Music: I love to work with music, not just in my spiritual practices but in my study and writing as well.  Music is an amazing trigger for the mind.  When I study I play particular songs (they have to be without lyrics), these songs become a trigger for what I am reading and when I hear them again later they make the recall of the knowledge easier.  When I write I am inspired by the music, what I'm writing reflects how the music makes me feel.  When I'm meditating I become one with the music - it takes me on the journey and brings me back.

What kind of music do I listen to during meditation - that really depends.  I can range from Tool to New Age depending on what I'm doing as part of the meditation and the focus.  Tool is generally great for dance meditation.  I might listen to chakra balancing music while going for a walk Generally something soothing and mellow goes on while I'm meditating with Mandalas.  Meditative art can be accompanied by just about anything depending on the mood I'm in.  No matter what though, unless I'm actually doing a meditation such as described above music has to play a part.

(Source: http://sparkleampow.wordpress.com/tag/movement)

Movement: Obviously I'm generally not big on the 'meditation while standing still'  idea.  I'm just not a sit still kind of person, and I'm also someone who needs to emote through her body, hell I even talk with my hands, I simply need to move to express.  So I don't do a lot of sitting meditation.  In fact my most regular form of meditation is probably either swimming or walking  (and hey, if you can combine your spiritual practice with staying healthy why not).  Swimming and walking is like breathing for me, I don't think about the actions involved and so they are perfect activities in which to loose myself to the depths of my mind.

Dance and hooping are two others forms of meditation I love.  I can loose myself to the music and the movement and allow my body to express what my mind is exploring.  Basically, you can trance and let go allowing you to reach that inner child.  So for me the three M's of Meditation, Movement and Music go hand in hand with each other.  They are all part of the process of tapping in to that inner self.  I think it is important that we don't feel stifled by the general pre-conceived notions of what meditation is and allow ourselves to think 'outside the box' (I hate that term but can't think of an alternative right now) and embrace different ways of working with the idea of meditation.

Film Friday

Okay, so why the somewhat blurry sunrise photo taken from the office window?  Because it serves as a reminder for me that even when I'm caught up in the mundane humdrum of work stuck inside an office artificial light and air conditioning there is an awe inspiring world out my window that I need to make and effort to get out in.  That it is important to take a moment to step back and re-balance ourselves and remember we are still part of the world despite how cut off from it we feel inside our little office spaces.

L is for Listening

How often do you truly listen?  I mean really listen, as in shutting your mind and not just your mouth and opening your whole being to take in the world around you?  I know I don't as often as I should and it is something that I'm working on now.

For me meditation usually has a goal in mind, not necessarily a guided goal but I generally am trying to achieve something, a connection, a message, something.  Listening for me is something different.  I have no agenda, I am not trying to 'hear' anything, rather I am trying to 'listen', that is I'm trying to shut my mind off and become completely aware of the world around me, of the way it sounds.  Its a pretty amazing experience.

When we open up ourselves to really listen to the world we perceive our place within it in a different light.  I've come to realize more deeply how connected everything is.  I have also come to see the depth and the darkness and the light and the energy and the potential for awe and terror.  And as you develop further and open more you begin to 'hear' things, things that may not make sense but fill you with a feeling of something beyond words.

I try to make time to listen most nights before bed, when the world is somewhat quieter and I can let my mind relax because I know I will be sleeping after.  It takes some practice, but it is well worth the effort.